my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Randomize