now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
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