Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
