i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I could make wine with my vomit
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
