I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
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