i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
