You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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