Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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