Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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