LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
