Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Found the puke drawer
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
