It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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