Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize