So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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