Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
