right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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