I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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