I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize
