I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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