I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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