well I can't set my house on fire every night
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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