ya dads aren't the best wingmen
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
The adults are the big ones right?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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