Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
