she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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