Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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