Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.