Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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