There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
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He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
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The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???