marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?