I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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