I accidentally had phone sex last night
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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