Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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