ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
