oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
