my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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