I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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