I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
