who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
