Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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