sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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