I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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