Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
