SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
