I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
