I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
