How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
he was CRYING into my vagina
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
