It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
