And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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