If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
