her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize