What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize