Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
