Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
PANTIES FOUND
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