i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
