Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
