I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
last night I used snow as a chaser
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
