hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
