The maid of honor just puked.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
