I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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