I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
