Your tits are I can't wait for
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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