So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
