Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
