Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
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