that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
