i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
