He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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