So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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