Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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