Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
