When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I am in a vortex of obligation.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
