We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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